🚨 AVAILABLE FOR WORK 🚨
A Distinctly Average Human

After observing that a surprising number of absolute average a*s*holes are currently gainfully employed, I thought I’d try a new approach and see if it made me a more attractive hire. 🤷‍♀️🤣

✨ Key strengths include:
• Lazy
• Not very nice, definitely not kind
• Deeply allergic to entry-level workers
• Will never make a cuppa
• Last in, first out… if I turn up at all
• Thrives on vague briefs and unnecessary stress
• Expert in making rooms awkward
• Will absolutely make at least one person cry… a day

I bring:
❌ zero empathy
❌ zero patience
❌ zero team spirit
✅ sass and attitude

Hire me if you’re looking for:
• morale destruction
• eye-rolling leadership
• “learning experiences” no one asked for
• the opposite of a safe pair of hands

Because clearly being decent, collaborative and highly competent hasn’t been the vibe lately…

so I thought I’d pivot. 😅

(For the avoidance of doubt: this is satire. I am, you will be relieved to know, none of the above. I am, however, clearly a hoot — so let’s talk.)

#TheProcrastinatingProducer #Fridayfun #LolFriday
#IndustrySatire #FreelanceLife #CreativeIndustry
#IfYouKnowYouKnow
#HireMeMaybe #JustKidding
#ButAlso 👀